Totally NOT a misunderstanding
by TehAwesomeness
Summary: Desmond can be quite the sneaky Devil. DesmondXShaun


Well I wrote this as a hopeful cure of writers block, and I decided to post it on up. I dunno if it cured anything, but it sure felt good to write, even if it is kinda short. :P

Rated M for mansex

This is a oneshot, so don't expect anything to deep here. bahahahahhaha

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_The buildings that were so real to him were slowly fading... the faces people of Florence were disappearing... his vision becoming blurry until he could no longer run with full faith without hitting something... a sense of lightheadedness washed over him as he was slowly pulled from a 500 year old reality..._

"Wakey, wakey sunshine." An annoyed voice called to him from across the room. "You've been in there for over 16 hours today and have accomplished a fat bollocks load of nothing. Good job. One would think that we could progress a bit further instead of falling off buildings like a bloody fool."

"Well sorry Leonardo. It's not like I can speed up my ancestors memories. It's not like they are my own." Desmond said, still drifting between his two realities. "Shit. I mean sorry _Shaun. _Not sure how my sub conscious could get you two confused though. I mean you are such a _joy_ to be around." Desmond rolled his eyes and stood up slowly trying to regain his balance after being on his back for so long.

"I'm not sure how either." The red streaked brunette said grinning like an evil fool. "We all know about Ezio and Leonardo and their, how shall I say... their 'escapades' in Da Vinci's workshop. Is this your way of telling me about your undying love?"

"You wish you stupid Brit." the assassin said, turning his face to hid a hint of red crawling up his face. It was only then he noticed that two key players were missing. "Hey, were did Lucy and Rebecca go?"

"How the bloody hell should I know?" The historian pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Just like I'm not your mum, I'm not theirs either. They are probably in bed by now. It is well after midnight. Unlike you, they didn't lay on their back all day, and still manage to fall off a roof." Turning around, Shaun clicked off his lamp and shut off his computer.

Desmond watched his, er well, that damned, annoying, historian Brit with the sexiest piece of ass he'd ever seen, male or female, clean up his workstation. Sure Lucy was hot and everything, but damn, unlike Lucy, Shaun pushed every button just right for him. Too bad he couldn't get a chance to push a couple of right buttons on Shaun, like his pants button for example. Hell, that asshole kept himself at a football field's distance away from everyone. If only he had an excuse to get somewhat close, even if for only ten seconds. Ten seconds was all he needed to turn Shaun into puddy in his hands... but how?

"Hey... HEY!" Shaun yelled in his face, snapping Desmond out of his thoughts.

"Huh... what?" Desmond said, staring at the brunette in his deep brown eyes.

"Quit spacing out like that. Had me worried." Realizing what he said he quickly tried to cover it up with, "I thought Ezio was back, or God forbid Altair, and you were about to murder me..." Brushing past Desmond, he mumbled something about going to bed, and quickly exited the room leaving the assassin alone.

'You know what...' Desmond said walking towards his bed. 'That gives me and idea. A damn good one at that... Yeah... this could work... especially if I play it out correctly. That damn bastard doesn't give me near enough credit. Oh well that will be his own downfall.' A sadistic grin spread across his face as he worked his plan over in his brain for about an hour, going over each detail, making sure that there will be no slip ups.

Deciding it was time to put his diabolical plan into motion, Desmond slipped off his bed and made his way out of the room and down the hall. The floor was cold on his feet, but not even he could hear any sounds coming from his walking. Desmond had been noticing such improvements since he started using the Animus back at Abstergo. He could walk without sound, climb ungodly heights without second thought, and he even thought about stabbing Shaun in the throat a couple of times. But of course he soon realized that he would miss the damned Brit, despite all the crap he threw his way.

Reaching his destination, he slowly opened the door a crack where Shaun laid asleep. Wiping off his Cheshire grin, he opened the door completely and slipped inside before the air around him had a chance to make a vibration of noise. After shutting the door he quietly and swiftly moved to the side of Shaun's bed, and stared down at the historian while he slept. 'Cute.' Desmond thought before lifting up the comforter that was draped across his sleeping frame, shielding his bare chest from the cold. He quickly slid it down to Shaun's thighs, as Desmond straddled his waist.

Now, no matter how quietly you are able to sneak into a room, any slightly sane person is sure to notice a regularly sized man sitting on your hips, let alone an assassin in training. Seeing as how Shaun still is slightly sane, at this point anyway, he woke up immediately, and stared up at the intruder making his home in his bed.

"Desmond! What on Earth are you..." the protest was cut off by a paired of slightly scarred lips capturing his for a brief second.

Moving his lips to his ear, Desmond whispered, "Leonardo, il mio amore." And he slightly nibbled on it, drawing out a moan from the historian. 'Thank God Ezio's Italian is also part of the bleeding effect.' Desmond thought to himself before continuing.

'What the hell is happening?' Shaun thought to himself as the assassin worked his mouth along his neck, tongue circling patters on the white flesh. 'Damn... aaaaaaaah... Damn that bleeding effect! Sure this is nice and everything, but... ah fuck!' Desmond had moved from his neck down to a rosy nipple, rolling it around with his tongue between his teeth. 'Ah screw this. If the bloody moron wants to do this thinking I'm Leonardo, then so be it. It's probably my only snowballs chance in hell to get in his oh so delicious pants.'

Arching his back into Desmond's willing mouth, Shaun let out another groan of ecstasy, running his fingers along the short black hair of his unknowing lover.

'Wow... I can't believe that this was so easy...' the assassin thought, moving onto the other nipple, giving it the same treatment. 'It's like he doesn't care I'm the one in his bed right now... wait. No way...'

Moving his face back up to Shaun's ear, he dipped his tongue into the shell, and decided enough was enough and he needed to come clean if this was to end happily. Breathing heavily, his voice became 10 levels deeper, and quietly whispered "Il trucco è su di voi Shaun."

The historians eyes flew open from their half lidded state and sat up straight, causing Desmond to fall back. "You prick!" Shaun said in outrage. "I can't believe you'd use the bleeding effect as an excuse to do... whatever the hell it is you are doing!"

"Hey! You didn't seem to mind so much when you thought that I thought I was about to fuck Leonardo da Vinci!" Desmond stared at Shaun, who looked completely taken aback, and extremely guilty. "Besides," he softened his voice, "I didn't know how else I'd get close enough to do this..." He leaned in again and lifted Shaun's head up to capture his lips in another kiss, his tongue begging for access into the hot cavern. Shaun, over his initial shock, welcomed the intruder, and wrapped his arms around the assassin's neck.

With one hand still on the historian's cheek, he ghosted his other hand down his side, leaving burning touches in it's wake. Leaning Shaun back down onto the pillows, Desmond regained his spot on his waist, and slowly ground his hips down, causing friction in the brunette's pants.

"Ah... Fuck Desmond." Shaun said, gasping for air.

"I take it you like that..." Desmond rolled his hips harder, being sure to make contact with Shaun's erection.

"God... yes..." the brunette bucked his hips up to meet the sweet friction, and he swore he would be able to come with that alone. "I need... oh fuck..." Shaun was stopped mid sentence as the assassin stopped, and instead started to slowly slide down, being sure to rub against the throbbing tent trying to escape the pajama pants.

"What was that? Last I heard you needed something." Desmond slowly inched the pair of pants down the white flesh, exposing it to the air that was heating up fast, despite needing a comforter not 20 minutes ago to keep warm. "Now what could that need be?" He then got to work on his own pants, discarding both pairs across the room. "Could it be that you wanted to be balls deep fucking me into the mattress?" Desmond gave Shaun's painful erection a quick suck before he looked up and saw the most beautiful man writhing in complete pleasure. "Or, option two, you wanted to be the one being fucked into the mattress?" He swirled his tongue around his index finger before leading it behind Shaun, teasing his entrance before slowly sliding it inside. "Which will it be?"

Trying to get his mind focused on the choice at hand, the brunette managed to ask, "Do you not have a preference?"

"Nope. I enjoy being the fucker and the fuckee if you will. Both will lead me to an orgasm screaming your name, so take your pick."

Shaun's mouth was completely dry, and was unable to come up with a response. Instead he flipped the two around, to where he was the one straddling Desmond and the assassin was laying with his head on the pillows. "I'll be the, how you bloody say, the fuckee, as long as I get to be on top."

"Fine with me you horny Brit." Desmond cracked a smile as Shaun rolled his eyes.

"Stupid American." The historian turned his body around and slid his legs up to Desmond's arms as he bent down, erection rubbing on the assassin's chest. Dipping his head down, he wrapped his lips around the tip of Desmond's leaking erection, licking up the stream of pre come that had gathered. Delving his tongue into the slit, he moved his mouth further down, adding more pressure around the assassin's shaft. He felt Desmond trying to buck his hips up into the warm heat, so he clamped his hands over his hips, surely leaving bruises for the next few days.

Desmond, while his cock received the blow job of a life time, had begun coating his fingers with saliva, mimicking what Shaun was doing to his dick. Swirling his tongue around them for a final time, he inserted one finger inside and started to prepare him. Hooking his finger, he slid it in and out, before adding a second, and a third. The brunette started to rock his hips back and forth, trying to get off on the wonderful finger fucking he was receiving.

To his dismay, Desmond removed his fingers, making Shaun whimper at the loss. To make up for it, Desmond flicked his tongue out at the base right behind the historian's balls, and licked his way back to Shaun's entrance. Slipping his tongue inside, he relished in the taste that was uniquely Shaun. He pushed his tongue as deep in as it would go, wriggling it around as much as he could before working it right back in, this time just barely touching that oh so wonderful bundle of nerves.

Shaun, at this point a mass of goo with a working mouth, has worked his mouth all the way down to the base of Desmond's dick, and every time Desmond hits that spot, he moans, sending a vibration up the assassin's spine. Coming out of his haze long enough to realize that if they don't stop now, he will come all over Desmond's chest now, he pulls his head up and lets go of the erection with a loud pop.

Turning back around, Shaun positioned himself above Desmond's shaft, and slowly lowered himself down onto it, rolling his hips as he does so. Steadily he takes all of the assassin in, and once he reaches the base, he sits for a second, trying to adjust around the thickness. "Fuck..." he breaths, trying to maintain whatever composure he has left.

"Fuck is right. Goddamn you are so tight." Desmond panted, using every bit of self restraint he still had to not flip the pair over and screw the historian until he couldn't walk. After what seems like an eternity and a half, Shaun rose up again, and started to ride the assassin.

Placing his hands on his rider's hips, Desmond started to thrust his hips upwards, meeting Shaun's plummet onto his cock. Seeing Shaun move one of his hands to his own neglected dick, Desmond quickly swatted the hand away. "Come using my body alone." Desmond smirked at the historian's pitiful glare.

"Ah... fff...Fine..." Taking that same hand, he grabbed one of the assassin's hands and placed it around his shaft. He then wrapped his hand around Desmond's hand and guided it up and down until he felt it moving on it's own. "God... so close..." Shaun panted, reaching his climax, throwing his head back.

Shaun came first, his semen spilling out over Desmond's hand and onto his chest. Hardly a second later, he felt Desmond's own semen fill him, and his name fill his ears as they rode out their orgasm. Getting off of the assassin's lap, Shaun laid down next to him, not daring to pull the comforter up and ruin it. "I feel gross." Shaun said, feeling Desmond's 'present' flooding out of him.

"I feel great." The assassin laughed before placing his hand on his chest. "And I guess a little gross too." Looking over at his Brit, he brought the hand up to his mouth and licked it clean. "You taste really good you know. I'd like some more of that."

"Well you are more than welcome to follow me to the shower. I feel disgusting right now." Sitting up, he forgot how hard it was to move properly after having a proper fuck. "Aw bollocks." Before he knew it, Shaun was scooped up into strong, tan arms and carried into the bathroom.

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TEH AUTHORS NOTE

So was fun to write and all that jazz, and I'm so excited for Brotherhood that's coming out! WOOT!

Anyway, please don't pay any attention to my bad Italian. I look Latin in high school for pete's sake and even then I didn't pay attention in it. T_T I tried to not be awful and I used an online translator, but you never know how reliable those are. Well here's a translation thing for you if you want...

1: Leonardo, il mio amore. Leonardo, my love.

2: Il trucco è su di voi Shaun. The trick is on you Shaun

Ah well, please read and review so I can be inspired again!


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